Forever lacking
I really hate myself and my seemingly complete lack of abilities or qualities. I wish I could put this in a more eloquent or unique way, but that’s about it. It seems even one of the deepest and most ever present feelings in my life is also painfully bland.
It sucks not having the spark. It sucks being in the middle of the bell curve. It sucks being an idiot while also having self-awareness about it, and still being an idiot. I feel like that’s even worse than just being a complete dumbass. Being aware of your flaws while being powerless to become something greater. Cursing your own inferiority while admiring what you can never become. There’s no excuse for me. Complete idiots just don’t know better. There is no reason for me to be so lacking while still trying
I think talent as a concept is something that has been becoming increasingly underrated in recent years. People have been propping up the idea that talent as a notion is ridiculous and the idea of talent itself is a crutch for people who don’t want to put in the effort or appreciate the hard work of others. While that can happen, disregarding talent as a major factor for someone’s potential is simply ignorant. Even more absurd is saying talent doesn’t exist, and anyone can achieve anything through hard work. You can probably get to a decent level in anything if you try hard enough, but it’s not guaranteed you’ll become one of the greats. Or great. Or even good. Not everyone can be Da Vinci. That’s a fact. No amount of hard work can compete against talent, provided the talent also works. I feel like only a few people would really understand the struggle of wanting desperately to be good at anything, only to time and time again always get stuck at the same low plateaus.